I know another rock story… we really do have a rocky relationship with God. You’ll see what I mean in a minute…
The story of this rock is embedded in this excerpt from a note I wrote to Brendan. I was his Rites of Christian Initiation of Adults (RCIA) sponsor. Here’s the note:
Sharing what on the surface will appear to be a very strange gift but there is a story behind the story. As you begin to walk deeper into this intangible relationship with Jesus and through Him find the majesty of God and His never ending creative Love moving in His Spirit things will get subtle and forever weird in the best possible sense of those words.
You are precious, wonderfully, and fearfully made in the image of God. There is only one you. Jesus knows you by name. He has entered your heart, mind, spirit and body in a way that defies logic.
Indirect observations and tending to the subtle signs, movements, and whispered messages will become the norm. God has crafted you in such a way that no one will else ever be able to Glorify His name and co-create with Him in the way you can. And the most glorious part of this? He has the same relationship with every creature and every soul He has ever created. There will be no need to compete for a scarce resource of Love. His Love is infinite and all encompassing.
Beginning this eternal walk invites us to become attuned to all the subtle ways He speaks to us. He will speak a language of Love that will be unique to the two of you. He writes a song – a melody with a polyphonic harmony that sweeps us away.
I wrote a poem for my mom’s birthday seven years ago that tries to celebrate this deep mystery. It is our creation – birth – baptism – return to God story…
Sharing what on the surface will appear to be a very strange gift but there is a story behind the story. As you begin to walk deeper into this intangible relationship with Jesus and through Him find the majesty of God and His never ending creative Love moving in His Spirit things will get subtle and forever weird in the best possible sense of those words.
You are precious, wonderfully, and fearfully made in the image of God. There is only one you. Jesus knows you by name. He has entered your heart, mind, spirit and body in a way that defies logic.
Indirect observations and tending to the subtle signs, movements, and whispered messages will become the norm. God has crafted you in such a way that no one will else ever be able to Glorify His name and co-create with Him in the way you can. And the most glorious part of this? He has the same relationship with every creature and every soul He has ever created. There will be no need to compete for a scarce resource of Love. His Love is infinite and all encompassing.
Beginning this eternal walk invites us to become attuned to all the subtle ways He speaks to us. He will speak a language of Love that will be unique to the two of you. He writes a song – a melody with a polyphonic harmony that sweeps us away.
I wrote a poem for my mom’s birthday seven years ago that tries to celebrate this deep mystery. It is our creation – birth – baptism – return to God story…
A stringed instrument of enormous proportions
sits on a stage of endless clouds
Wisps of air carrying echoes of previous performances
escaping in every direction
There are notes un-played…notes unannounced…notes
barely whispered
Amid muted chants of dreamed possibilities and symphonic
proclamations of intersecting harmonies
All of it music…endless music, beautiful, glorious music
The stage of cloud stands ready at any moment to succumb
to the insidious scratching, beating, clawing of darkness
The instrument is drawn into a hapless, volatile scuffle with
unseen forces intent to interrupt the resolution of a vexing chord
Why must such darkness exist?
How can such darkness assert itself?
Where does such darkness come from?
A pin of light streaks across the blackened canvas and a chorus
of voices chases after it
Isn’t the storm of clashing dichotomies too great for such
a tiny dot of light?
Confused by the crescendo of voices pursuing it, the little dot
begins running in circles
Each streaking pirouette brings it closer into an accelerating
orbit around the dormant instrument
All the while, the crescendo chorus of voices quickens its
pursuit, coaxed by the massive wings of an eagle beating time
The dot of light and chorus of voices merge right at the
moment of contact – contact with the massive strings of the
instrument….and there is a burst of light with a force so great
that a string is plucked and a note is played
Silence reigns for an infinite moment…every vibration
composing the celestial tapestry listens with all its heart and
whatever struggles were being played out cease…
The note falls off the instrument and punches a hole in the stage of clouds….
The note begins falling,
falling,
falling…
and as it falls,
it begins to gather mass and take shape…and when its plunge
downwards appears unstoppable, wings unfurl
The hole in the cloud lingers, and a hand reaches with its
fingers to straighten the wings…then just as contact must be
broken and the hole in the cloud begins to heal, a tear falls
from an all knowing eye…
A happy-poignant departure…
Water for the winged melody to baptizes its journey until He
holds her again
I offer two physical gifts to accompany the spiritual ones of being united now in the Body of Christ in prayer and Spirit. First a rosary. Our Blessed Mother has saved my hide on more occasions than I care to remember. Here are two accounts taken from early journal entries…
Sometime during the winter of my junior year in high school I had a very powerful dream. Our Blessed Mother appeared to me. It was a lucid dream without any of the usual characteristics of typical nightly dreaming. In this dream, I was completely awake and present. I was aware of myself, my cognitions, and actions in the same way we experience consciousness in normal states of wakefulness.
Our Blessed Mother appeared standing on a tree stump in front of faculty housing on campus. She was radiant. The glow of her vibrant, metallic, blue garments pulsed with vibrations that I could feel pass through me. I became transfixed. Then I sensed darkness and excruciating pain. I could hear confusion from all corners of the world. Chaos was everywhere and it was inexplicably visceral. Without words, speaking with her eyes she assured me everything would be okay but that there would be great upheavals. I felt profound peace as I kept my eyes locked on her. The vision faded and I woke up.
As an altar boy I had been given a Scapula that I wore for a while, I prayed the Rosary a few times but I did not have any special devotion or even connection to our blessed Mother. Our Blessed Mother will play a pivotal role in my journey towards Christ in another chapter I will recount soon…
———–
The 1987 World University Games in Zagreb, Yugoslavia marked a significant milestone in my journey to Christ. I had heard about the Marian apparitions in Medugorje. I found myself with a short break in my schedule of training and competing. I decided to make a pilgrimage. A day of travel by plane, bus, car, and foot brought me to this unassuming village. During the long journey I wrote in my journal. I see it now as a plea to the Holy Spirit to help me know my path. It was full of earnest prayers and petitions. I poured my heart out. I was aware of a gaping hole in my spiritual life. Christ was just a ceremonial, faint belief construct. I knew I needed a personal relationship with our Lord. I was still trying to be in control of every aspect of my life. Age…competitive fencing…the myth of intellectualism…must all have been ingredients essential to God’s work of fermenting the grapes of His joyous labor in me.
When I arrived at Medugorje we were guided to the church for a short talk. The priest informed us that towards the end of his talk a small number of petitions would be collected. These would be put in the room with the visionaries during their next apparition.
I was about three quarters of the way back in the church sitting at the far end of the pew. The priest walked down the center of the church. When he got to my pew he stopped and looked right at me and said, “Son, do you have a petition you’d like to share?” I nodded self-consciously. I grabbed my notebook out of my backpack, ripped out the pages with my writing and handed them to him.
My prayers were answered and continued to be answered. While the answers have felt slow and in a state of constant change the presence of Christ has been a constant.
I encourage you to foster a relationship with our Mother so I offer this rosary as a channel of communication. You can just talk to her… offer a Hail Mary throughout the day – whatever works. She will guide you. She is fully human and full of grace but her connection to us and her petitions for us to our Son are important. She understands our human suffering, pains and needs. My vision in high school feels to be coming to fruition in the world we live in today.
The second gift is a rock. Am I crazy? Maybe! God is always more than appearances. This rock represents the gift of being open to the signs and gifts God will put on your path. Here’s the account from my journal two weeks ago:
As I was walking from my car into church I was talking to my guardian angel. I also looked down at the curb where several times I have found feathers. I remarked to myself that it had been awhile since I had seen a feather. Sort of wanting to see one today for some reason. I’m spoiled and really don’t need any signs but I love discovering them.
I’ve also been feeling my guardian angel in a special way these last many weeks. I got to the door of the church and looked down. Right at the center of the door was this beautiful rock – right at the center of the church doors – what the heck was this rock doing there. It’s a lovely rock, smooth and with black bands (3 clear bands – one broad at the bottom and two smaller ones at the top). It’s a comforting rock – the kind that when you pick it up you immediately take a liking to it and enjoy the feel of it in your hand. Its symmetry and appearance is equally very appealing.
So this rock is for you. Given to me to offer to you. Remain open to the special, quirky ways He will remind you of His Love and presence. This rock was a gift from my guardian angel. In the short time I’ve had the rock I’ve grown very attached to it – which is the very reason I’m being asked to let it go and share it with you.
For the last two weeks I have held the rock during my nightly rosaries so there is lots of spiritual love and prayer in a rock that came from a divine place to begin with.
Our God is always about the unexpected – frequently counter-intuitive. May the rock bring you rich blessings. May the rock remind you to be open to the surprising gifts God will put on your path; gifts that often will not look like much. He is our God – a God so beyond us that would stop at nothing to be with us – including becoming human, dying on the cross and in the mysterious paradox of our faith at the moment of death He faced separation from Himself plummeting into the depths of hell itself. He did all of this to demonstrate the extent of His Love.
“And thank you so much for the beautiful rosary and rock. They are both
so meaningful and already have so much history. We have a small rock
collection at my house so I know this was all a part of His plan.”
(Email from Brendan)